After waiting her whole life to have sex, this virgin bride came to a shocking revelation after she tied the knot with her partner. Sarah Jones-Green waited more than 40 years to have sex for the first time, but was left stunned after she realised she had an extremely rare medical condition which meant she was unable to and left her feeling “frustrated”.
The now 44-year-old was brought up in a Christian household and decided she wanted to wait until she was married to have sex out of respect for her traditional beliefs. She also said she saw intimacy as “something special” and knew she didn’t want to lose her virginity to a one-night stand or just a casual fling.
However, she soon discovered her hymen is so thick she was unable to have sex with her now-husband, Martin Green, after meeting him on a dating app. As the pair attempted to have sex, the new bride found it too painful and consulted her GP, who examined her and told her she had a microperforate hymen – with just a small opening. She was left feeling really down about her condition, as sex was something she had waited so long to do.
Sarah is now on the waiting list for a hymenectomy – a surgical procedure to remove extra tissue from the hymen – and says being able to have sex would make her feel “complete”. Sarah, a marketer from Greenwich, London, said: “I’m a virgin bride – and I don’t want to be – having sex would make me feel like a ‘normal’ newlywed.
“I didn’t have any inkling about this condition before, I literally only realised something was wrong when Martin and I tried to have sex for the first time. I’d waited such a long time – I just wanted to experience what everyone else has. It’s frustrating, and I’ve been feeling really down about it.”
From a young age, Sarah said she knew her beliefs wouldn’t allow having sex before marriage – but she says it was a very personal decision. She describes herself as a “modern woman” who doesn’t judge others for anything they choose to do – but she couldn’t see herself losing her virginity to a man she wasn’t married to.
“I find it something so special,” she said. “I didn’t want to give myself to just anyone – someone I could eventually break up with or in a one-night stand. My mum, Pamela, also waited until marriage to have sex – and after she died from pancreatic cancer at the age of 72, I was even more determined to make her proud.”
She said she and Martin had spoken about sex before their first date as it was something she felt ‘anxious’ about. She wanted to be transparent and tell him she didn’t have any intentions of having sex until she was married. Sarah said he was “patient and kind” and was fine with waiting – while they dated for four years before their nuptials.
“I waited four years to have sex with him. Martin has been so caring the entire time – we had the discussion while we were still talking on Bumble and he was so sweet and fine with it.” But then after their first attempt on their wedding night she knew immediately it wasn’t going to work.
The excitement “quickly disappeared,” and it left her feeling “abnormal”. She detailed: “I wanted to get it seen to straight away,” she said. “We just couldn’t work out how to have sex without pain – Martin was fine, but I was really frustrated. I remembered my mum had the same issue on her wedding night and wondered if her problem was hereditary.”
While her GP initially thought her condition may be a psychosexual condition – like a mental block – she soon realised it was physical.
Sarah’s GP began her assessment by asking questions about her symptoms and questioned whether the issue could be vaginismus – a psychosexual condition in which the vagina involuntarily tightens when penetration is attempted. Sarah said: “My hymen is unusually rigid, and people are born with it.
“The GP offered me dilators – but they sounded too painful, so I’m going for surgery. I haven’t got my consultation until August – but a private procedure is looking to cost around £1,000. I’m really worried – I want to start a family as soon as possible but I can’t, without the surgery.”
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