Simone Abrahamsohn, a resident of Toronto, shares her experience of becoming her big brother’s primary caregiver after losing her mother. Dealing with the challenges of co-habiting with a neurodivergent sibling, Abrahamsohn highlights the complexities and joys of caring for her brother, Stuart.
Stuart, who is autistic and a left-brain stem stroke survivor, requires specialized care such as being handfed due to a hand tremor, wheelchair-to-commode transfers, and assistance with daily activities. His emotional lability and sensitivity to loud sounds add another layer of complexity to their living situation.
Abrahamsohn reflects on her past struggles with accepting her brother’s differences, recalling instances of embarrassment and misunderstanding from both outsiders and herself. She acknowledges her own neurodivergent traits, particularly her ADHD, and the effort she put into masking them to fit in with societal norms.
Despite the challenges, Abrahamsohn emphasizes the bond she shares with Stuart and the importance of creating a supportive environment for both of them. She describes the adjustments she has made, such as being more present and inclusive in decision-making, to enhance their co-habiting experience.
While sacrifices have been made, including giving up personal pursuits like acting classes, Abrahamsohn finds fulfillment in her role as Stuart’s caregiver and roommate. Through a combination of external support, personal growth, and a deepening sibling connection, she is committed to providing a nurturing and understanding home for both of them.